Mothering and Softening the Edge
Luca, Mitzi and Maya
During this time, I am a mother who is mothering herself. Out of a deep necessity to calm the fear, the anxiety, and to navigate the unknown, I have turned inward to soothe and comfort myself.
I have arranged my own zoom playdates to connect with dear friends and communities that feed my mind and soul. I have resourced myself with others to support me to grow and evolve from this special time in history.
And what I have found is that by doing this, I am softening the edge that I created mothering Luca & Maya. The edge was born to protect them - to not let them slack, to motivate them to stay on the right path. The edge came from fear. It blocked me from being in the moment with them. It muddied how I was interacting with them.
Mothering myself has helped my edge soften and I find myself more and more, being able to listen to their every word instead of planning my response while they are still talking. I have found myself able to laugh more with them. As the edge softens, the vast amount of love that I have for them is able to flow unconstrained.
When Luca and Maya remember this time, I hope they will remember it as a time when their mother tended to her heart and it made it soft and expansive enough to accept, trust and love them with less edge.
With love to all you mamas,
Your beautiful reflection touches my heart. Thank you for sharing what your rich experiencing- the moments of cooking, the strawberries turning red, and of course, the way your son honored your birthday with the note and $5 bill.
Had it not being by the fact that we have stayed home I probably wouldn’t had noticed the joy in my babies’ faces when I cook something easy for them and they think I should open a restaurant. “This is so good mom… can you please make it again” I have witnessed true excitment as a tiny strawberry in the small vegetable garden started growing “Mommy! It’s getting bigger” and then “It’s turning red” and we have stayed up late watching movies together eating too much popcorn and saying the next line in the movie we have now seen way too many times. And my birthday came and my son waited patiently for his dad to come home from work so he could take him to the store really quick to buy me “something” The sadness in his little voice when he told me that everything was closed was healed with a “why don’t you just write me a note ? It’s okay!” Then in the morning he gives me the sweetest note with a folded $5 bill that I may never spend because it will always remind me of this special time when I got to know my babies in a deeper level and when I let go of all the busy schedules to just savor the moment right now with them!
Love is all we need.
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